Today has been dreamlike. Every article I read seems like something out of a dream. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye. I've been hearing noises that don't exist. Snippets of conversations from the walls and floors of my apartment. When I walked around to discover the source of the voices, my cat followed me as if she heard them too.

I think I'm still asleep.

Tonight was the start of the Iroquois Amphitheatre musicals, to which I have season tickets courtesy of Josh's mother. The opening number: Willy Wonka. I walked away with mixed feelings. First off, the actor playing Willa Wonka was great. Of course, I am a little bias because he also starred in my favorite play two years ago, Brigadoon. Many of the actors should find new hobbies. It may sound harsh, but when you are charging for seats to an outdoor theatre in the heat of summer, you better cast professional actors. I felt as thought I was in a high school auditorium.

That being said, the play did have a few redeeming qualities. The costumes were marvelous. I would show you pictures, but the amphitheatre has a strict no camera policy. Willy Wonka's velvet suit jacket with hot pink and orange trim around the cuffs and under the flipped up, curly jacket tails was superb. The Oompa Loompa's  costumes were over sized white overalls over purple turtle necks and accented with purple wigs. I didn't miss the orange and green one bit.

One of my favorite scenes in the whole play, and probably the only reason I walked away with positive feelings about the experience was the journey on the boat down the chocolate river. I was very curious how they were going to pull it off and I was pleasantly surprised. The entire stage was pitch black. Black lights came on and illuminated the bright, white Wonka boat. Only bits and pieces of the actors clothes glowed. Stage hands dressed head to toe in black held cutouts of leaf-like shapes in neon greens and oranges. They fluttered and danced across the stage to give the illusion that the boat was moving. It really brought to life the psychedelic scene in the movie. It was wondrous.

Goodnight Charlie Bucket.

I had my first ebay experience today. It was a ritualistic experience. I spotted an item I wanted. I clicked on watch item for faster tracking. Every few hours I signed on to check in on my prey. With 6 minutes left, I begin to bid. Eight other eager buyers jumped in on the game. Every 10 seconds another bid pushed the price up by five dollar increments. Despite their efforts, I remained the top bidder. Sixteen seconds, 10 seconds, five seconds, four, three, two, one...ding, ding, ding! Congratulations! You won the lot!

I'm now the proud owner of 96 Sweet Valley High books.

I met my downstairs neighbor tonight. Met met, not just exchanged names. I don't think that telling another person your name in passing really constitutes as meeting someone. I think to met someone is to have a fishing conversation, and not about bass. Fishing for details. Fishing for that connection that we all strive for in relationships, be it friend or otherwise. That common link, whether it be a shared hobby or a mutual friend. I think it's interesting that even in the small amount of years I've been alive my common link with strangers is easy to find. I've not been in high school for nine years and still, after an hour conversation with my neighbor we discovered that we have a friend in common. I'm completely infatuated with these kinds of coincidences. Especially since I'm the type of person who struggles to step away from the past, yet something or someone always manages to bring me back.

I'm not a science person. I don't really understand the human body in the least, and this next comment may sound nutty and naive but sometimes I feel like my left ear is directly linked to my heart. When I'm alone and it's very quiet my heart starts to beat loudly in my ear, it sounds like ocean waves washing over a beach, echo-ie and rhythmic. I feel as though I've lifted a shell to my ear.

I hear it now.

Josh and I decided to get in the Christmas spirit yesterday. We bought a Santa cookie jar, and came home to start decorating. We pulled out all of the Christmas boxes and laughed at the things we forgot we had. We put in a Christmas CD, made some hot chocolate and smores and watched Elf. After putting up lights and little do-dads, we realized that we threw our Christmas tree from last year away! Last year, apparently, we decided we wanted a pre-lit tree and that if we threw our tree away it would force us to buy a new tree...but we both forgot and we won't have enough money until Josh gets paid on Friday! One more week until tree time in the Boyd household.

I have an addiction...I can't stop playing Viva Pinata! I stayed up until 5am last night playing that game...I decided to be nice and let Josh play his game for a little bit today even though I'm dying to play right now.

Today was by far the best day I've had at the bookstore. We had a blackout on campus for three hours and it was awesome! Getting paid to hang out, read erotica, eat pizza and laugh at each other is the life. At 10am almost on the dot, something blew up at the main electrical plant for the university. Because of what all the plant controls they couldn't just cut everything back on at once so it took an hour to get everything up and running again. Well, as soon as they did, 15 minutes later a transformer blew up! So it was another hour or so before they got it fixed again.

This has been one of the only days where everyone in the bookstore seemed to be in a fantastic mood, we all got along and enjoyed each others company. Afterward, a few of us had to walk out in the freezing windy weather, so we all went together in this power stride walk because Amanda can not walk slow. She seems to have a natural caffine high and it's quite entertaining!!

After Josh got home we went to Game Stop and picked up Viva Pinata and so far it is the cutest, most colorful, fun game I've played in awhile! Just calm, sweet entertainment. However, our tv started acting up so we went out and got a new television. It's our Christmas present to each other so there goes our Christmas! Oh well! At least we got something that we wanted and we don't have to wait to enjoy it. We're still going to get each other stocking stuffer presents so that should be fun. It's hard to find awesome small presents sometimes. Especially small presents that are a surprise.

So, I foresee myself staying up late to play my new game and sleeping for a long, long time tomorrow!

Night, night!

Josh and I had dinner at his parents house yesterday. It was actually not bad. As in being there, not the food part, that part is always good but sometimes I find it hard to be around Josh's mom. She just has a really overbearing personality that I can't tolerate or be comfortable with. I always feel on edge like I'm being judged so I never enjoy myself. However, we managed to co-exist quite nicely last night.

Heidi called yesterday. I didn't have a chance to talk to her as long as we usually do, since I was at Josh's parents house and that would have been rude but we did chat for a few minutes. I can't believe it's been 2 and a half years since she moved. I've seen her since then, but still I haven't seen her since last Christmas. It's weird to have an out of state best friend. When I make a new friend I feel like I'm cheating on Heidi or I always compare them to Heidi in this weird way. Sometimes I feel guilty because I don't stay in touch better than I do. We call each other every few weeks but I've sent her maybe one letter and one or two emails. I just don't think about it. Well, I don't think about it when I actually have the time to do it. Anyway, I miss her, that's all.

It is VERY windy today. I woke up at 7am to the wind rattling the windows. I'm not looking forward to walking here in a few minutes but I must go to work. Since I started taking Thursdays off so I can be home with Josh it feels like I miss a whole week when I'm gone. I go back and things have been moved, this has happen, or that went wrong...I enjoy my day off, but I panic about what I missed.

Josh has been sick the past few days. I feel bad for him because I'm the one who is usually sick and he is NEVER sick so I don't really know what to do for him. I bought him some Aleve Cold & Sinus and I remind him to take it but other than that I'm clueless. Mostly because I'm a big baby when I'm sick. I like to be taken care of so I don't really have the hang of taking care of someone. Probably not a good thing since I want to have oodles of kids someday.

Because Josh is sick, his nose is all stuffy and that means he has been snoring...Loudly...all night with the snoring! And he usually snores but this is different, this is booming in my ear snoring which means I can't sleep...at all. Normally I would just nudge him and he would rouse and roll over or something, giving me enough time to fall asleep. Now, he's sick and I feel bad and I want him to get all of the much needed rest he can so I don't have the heart to nudge him. I'm going on four days with no sleep. Yesterday I was so sleep deprived that when I got home from work I fell asleep on the couch. Yeah it was sleep and all but it was also only 6pm which means that I woke up at 2:30am wide awake. I played a video game until 5:00 then I made the schedule for work, worked on some textbook paperwork and at 6:00 I took a shower then at 6:30 I woke Josh up. He was not happy, but he always says he would like to get up earlier so he can have time to gather himself before he has to rush out the door for work. I ignored him during his waking up process (major grumpy pants) then I made him some breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee. I loaded the dishwasher, cleaned off the counters and gathered all of the trash. At 7:00, Josh was leaving for work so I decided to just get a ride from him and go in to work early, hoping I could leaving early in turn. Well, I started putting up the shelftags for the new courses and everything was fine and dandy until I got to Law. Law decided to add 30 more books and I had no space for them. I had to go all the way back to the English section and shift everything one isle at a time to make space for the law books. By the time I finished it was my regularly scheduled time to leave. Now, after 9 straight hours of standing on my feet in skimpy shoes on concrete my feet are pounding with achy pain. My whole body aches but it's only 6:30pm once again and I can't go to sleep now!

At least these are my only problems right now. I've had worse, others have had far worse so if the least of my worries is a restless night consider me pleased.

Wow! It's been a long time! 8 months to be exact. I thought I'd go over and try the myspace thing, mostly because my best friend got a myspace account and that would be a good way for us to keep in touch. So many things have changed/happened that I don't even know where to start with an update so I think I'm just going to say Hello and type this litte paragraph here to get back in the swing of things and go from there.

I'm back! wOOt. or not. ;)

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

In other news...Josh, Rick and I went to a preview screening of V for Vendetta yesterday. Utterly amazing. There were a few scenes that gave me chills. I absolutely loved it. It was smart, witty, and had a good story (one that hit a little too close to home) I can't really see myself watching it over and over again, but I definitely want to own it. Even though I think it's kind of corny myself, the audience clapped when it was over. (The actors can't hear you silly!)

Remind me not to drink caffeine and take a nap in the middle of the day. Of course I can't sleep because I'm a silly rabbit (dumb idiot is more like it) I have an interview tomorrow and I'm nervous. I use to ace interviews and now I'm running scared. I feel bad because I'm hiding it from my current employer, but if I told my boss he would probably fire me for looking. I couldn't help applying...I'm so depressed at my current job and I really think I need a change. Especially if I'm going to pursue a career in photography. I need a job with different hours and one that doesn't expect me to live at the office. The position is for store manager of a little art shop. I say art but I mean air brush and caricatures. I don't care really. The pay is good, the job sounds really fun and the required skills are all things that I have. Of course I don't really feel like my chances are that good but I'm hopeful. I really, REALLY need a change. I'm hoping to start taking classes again this fall and classes and the bookstore aren't really working. I want to get a damn degree before I'm thirty and taking a class here and there just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm going to switch over to JCC for awhile so I can afford to go to school full time and when I get my associates, I can switch back to U of L as a junior.

Two day work week rocks! I felt like I was leaving early or something today. I got so much accomplished in two days I'm amazed at myself. Next week is spring break week on campus which means the store is going to be dead. I however, am going to be busy. My shipping and receiving supervisor isn't happy with the returns progress so I'm going to help him as much as I can to get those books out the door! Then, my bookkeeper needs some help finding some missing billing statements and whatnot to get our AR total down as low as possible. My trade supervisor asked if I would price the books that he's expecting and put them out on the shelves...as you can see I have every bodies work to do but my own. ;)

Work Josh gave me a set of magnetic poetry today. I'm so thrilled. I've always, always wanted a set but I've never had one and now I do! I put them all up on my storage cabinet behind my desk so whenever I come to a stopping point I can do a little poetry.

In Georgia, my great aunt Betty gave me a bunch of awesome vinyl. ORIGINAL vinyl. Michael Jackson's Thriller from 1982 (my birth year) Leif Garret (too funny for words) Chubby Checker from 1960, County Joe and the Fish, The Best of the Doobie Brothers, Elvis's Christmas Album, The Bee Gees. I'm pleased to say the least.

Today is the last day of my vacation. I didn't do everything I wanted to do around the house because I had too much fun just relaxing and shopping. I'm not that big of a shopper, but I do love Target and they have some awesome spring home items and I'm in the mood to redecorate. I get that way every Spring, but I'm sure I'm not alone. It's just winter is so blah, bland and grey that I feel like I'm going to smother if I don't get some color and lots of it. It reminds me of Rainbow Brite! :)

I have come to realize that I LOVE crappy television, and crappy movies. Junk food for the brain. The fact that I like Charmed is prove. I watch it and I know it's bad, but I can't get enough. Also some of my favorite movies just happen to be the sappiest. 10 Things I Hate About You, for instance. It's ok though because I do realize how bad they are. It'd be different if I was oblivious to the lameness.

I'm back from Georgia! I had a good time. Nice, quiet, relaxing...great sleep! I love all of my aunts and uncles. I wish that I could visit them more often. In fact, every time I go to Albany, I get this yearn to move down there. I love the heat, the sun...the peaches and the pecans! My aunts and uncles are all so close. They hang out together, they see each other three, four times a week, they help each other out. I want that. I want that family bond. My uncle Jeff played my tour guide while I was there. Mom didn't want to leave my grandma alone so it was just me and Jeff, well and Barbara once. We went to the I-Max, the Flint River Aquarium, Che Haw Park (a zoo)we feed the puppies, and let them outside so they could play in the grass. My Aunt Sherry and Uncle Jeff raise Huskies. They have seven of their own and they just love them and they breed them and sell the puppies. They are the most humane breeders I've ever met. They never let one of their dogs breed right after having puppies. They let them sit two litters out. They never separate the puppies from there mom until exactly six weeks have passed. They let the puppies out twice a day to get use to people and to play around in the grass. They do it for fun and for the love of dogs and it's nice. I had so much fun playing with the puppies!

Yesterday I rented a 200 zoom lens for my digital camera and went to the Louisville zoo. I'd never used a zoom lens before and it was quite an experience. I want one so bad now, but $1200 is a little steep for my budget. I wish I could be a photographer. It has always been my dream but I don't know anything about cameras. I know that is all stuff I could be taught but I don't want to be taught, I want to learn it on my own but I don't have the time. I take pictures any moment I can get, but there's only so much you can do without knowing about aperture and speed and blah, blah...I don't even know the language. I'm to afraid to just let go and try to support myself as a photographer. I like the stability of a steady paycheck. I know if I would just try to put myself out there, maybe I could, but I would like to have some money to live off of first. It's my dream job. I love doing weddings and portraits, but I don't want to work at some portrait studio in a mall. I wouldn't mind doing weddings for a living, but how do I do that?? How do I get there? I really admire those who can do without to do what they love...I wish I could borrow some of their courage.

Blah! That sums up everything I want to say, I want to vent, everything that's happened....just blah. Well, I wish that were true. Life is good, but money is stressful. I'm sure that's nothing new, but here lately money just seems to be swallowing me whole. It should be easier. Josh is working a full time job now, I got a raise...what the hell is the problem?? Where does all the money go? I haven't been out to eat in a long time, I stopped going to the movies, I only buy Dvds once or twice a month...I just don't get it and it pisses me off. I need new clothes. I've lost 13 pounds and my pants are starting to get droopy and I don't have the money. Not even for the unique thrift store clothes!! Anyway, I've had the most stressful day. It must be hormones because everything is fine really, but I got so worked up and so stressed out I just sat down and started crying. I'm going on vacation in two days, this is a ridiculous way to behave and yet...TWO DAYS, TWO DAYS...that's my new chant for the week. I'm going to Georgia/Florida. It's not a spring break thing, it's a go anywhere but here thing and I don't have a lot of money so let's just go stay with family thing. I wish Josh could go with me. He works so much I never see him and I'm not use to that.

I'm back. Finally got our new monitors and just today got mine all set up! I've missed having a computer of my own. Actually, I haven't really had time to miss a computer, but in my head I've missed it. The holidays were incredibly busy. I don't think I've had a Christmas filled to the brim with stops. It was like four days of Christmas. FOUR days. I mean, I know that's actually a good thing, at least I have family and friends who want to celebrate the holidays with me, but I'm not use to it. Christmas use to be a vacation for me. I'd just enjoy the time I got off of work. Now, I'm gone so much I miss my house!

The next few weeks are going to be busy for me. It's that time of year again, the beginning of a school semester which means things are hectic at the bookstore. I usually end up working like 8 to 8 during this time of year, but my boss says he has a new schedule worked out for the managers this year so we all don't have to be at work everyday from 8 to 8.

I'm taking a semester off from college. I really just don't have the money or the time to take classes this time around. I haven't decided when I'm going back, or if I'm going back. I think only time will tell. I'm just feeling really burnt out at the moment.

I've abandoned livejournal!!!! Not for too much longer though, thankfully. You see, I have much to get out of my system and I try to use the old fashion paper journals, but my hand hurts after writing for so long, but since my last entry in here I have written in my paper journal EVERYDAY!! That is amazing for me, because I let stuff bottle up and writing is the only way that I get a healthy release of pressure and stress and I don't do it nearly enough. Not to mention when I type in here, I can't really type everything I want to because I like to have my personal stuff stay that way. I suppose I could just make all of my entries private, but then I'd have to click an extra button and hello, I barely have time to type in here, much less add an extra click! ;) Anyway, the reason I haven't been typing in here, I'm sure if you know me at least a little bit you may have guess, is because my laptop was stolen and I don't have a monitor for my computer. Of course I could always use Josh's computer, but he actually needs the computer where as I just fool around on a computer and I hate to ask him to get off of the computer so I can type in livejournal and check my email. I am however, getting a new computer monitor for Christmas. Except I don't actually get it on Christmas because the person who bought it for me is out of town and I have no idea when she gets back. I think it's going to be the 28th or something like that. Anyway, enough rambling, I just wanted to hop on here and say MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS to everyone and tell Brianna and Caryn that they complete rock because that is the best christmas card I've gotten this year, and because I forgot that you guys were doing that this year it was a wonderful little surprise.

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I spent mine being sick. Yay-hoo! I went to work on Tuesday and I felt terrible...really terrible. I couldn't figure out why I felt so wrong and why it took me twenty minutes just to walk to the back of the store. I told Scott I felt bad and he just sort of looked at me, like, "Oh great, she's going to ask to leave early." I asked him if I could cut out early and he said I could leave after the conference call. I could barely hold my head up, but I managed to sit there and half listen to the conference call. Then I told him I was going to head out and he asked if I could call armor car and set up a money delivery first. It seemed like it took me hours to get out of there because every time I thought it was ok to leave, he'd find something else I needed to do really quick. Finally, at about 10:00am I was able to leave. Josh came to pick me up and he pretty much took one look at me and decided to drive straight to the doctor. I walked in, they took my temperature and guess what?? ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR DEGREES!!! So, needless to say, I had a fever. It just made me mad that I had struggled to move around work and I felt like shit and he wouldn't let me leave. I was working with a damn fever. A pretty high one too. So, they took a flu test, which consists of shoving a very long Q-tip up my nose...it came back negative, then they did a chest x-ray and it's official. I have pneumonia. Super fun pneumonia which means I got the prize of the day...a shot in the butt. Let me tell you, at 23, a shot in the butt is sort of embarrassing. Anyway, they loaded me up with drugs and sent me home to get LOTS of rest. I've rested so much I'm bored out of my mind. Actually, the first two days went by really quickly because I was in and out of it due to the fevers. Finally, on Thursday, I started feeling a little bit better and I realized I hadn't eaten. The only thing that sounded good was spaghetti, so Josh made me some angel hair pasta and we watched Gilmore Girls on DVD. Some Thanksgiving, huh? So, I've been cooped up in my house for about seven days and today, I can finally get up from the couch and move around. It sucks being so tired you can't lift your own body parts. I think I'm going to take one more day off work, just to be safe and then hopefully I'll be on the path to full recovery!

About an hour ago I was sitting at my desk in the back of the store and guess who just strolled in like they belonged???? Heidi and Joel!!! Only my dearest/best friends in the whole world. They had an emergency family situation that demanded they drive up from North Carolina and they stopped by to say hi. It was awesome and it sucked at the same time. Awesome because I miss them so much and it was so unexpected. That's the sort of thing that happens in movies. Your friends who are eight/nine hours away and they just walk by your desk! Anyway, it sucks because I miss them so much and I only got to see them for maybe thirty minutes. The family situation means that they have to be over there all day and leave early in the morning. I couldn't even leave work to run over to my apartment to give Heidi all of the stuff I've gathered to give her. Scott left work early, Linda had plans and left, Joshua was sick and went home earlier, so basically I was the only person at the store which meant we just had to sit there and chat at my desk. Blah. Life is tricky. (It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time It's Tricky...it's Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky) It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time It's Tricky...Tr-tr-tr-tricky (Tricky) Trrrrrrrrrrricky)